Bars With People Who Can't Handle Their Liquor
Alibi
Specifically: Weekends
Famed Portland tiki bar brimming with dark volcanic islandy charm. Located on the Max yellow line.
Aura
Good happy hour, decent food, lovely design, professional service...the crowds however, kill it.
Barrel Room Rockin' Show Bar
Specifically: Bachelorettes
Dueling piano bar in the heart of the amateur nightclub zone.
Berbati's
Spacious Greek themed bar in the heart of downtown.
Bitter End
Popular bar for the pre/post Timbers crowd.
Blitz Ladd
Enormous sports bar with good food and lots of games.
Boiler Room
Karaoke bar in the heart of the of the Old Town's amateur zone.
Bridgeport Alehouse
Typical Alehouse
Casa Del Matador Southeast
Not THE Matador on W. Burnside. Not THE Matador on W. Burnside.
Cheerful Tortoise
Right next to PSU, this would be downtown's Animal House, if, say, there were actually a university in Portland that had said fraternities.
Chopsticks Express
Portland's most beloved karaoke bar for the not so serious would be crooner.
Couture Ultra Lounge
Chic "Ultra-lounge" right in the heart of the weekend downtown douchebag zone.
Cuda Beach Club
New name for Barracuda - the longstanding mainstay of Portland's very own Jersey Shore set.
Darcelle XV
Best and longest running Drag show in town.
Deschutes Brewery Pub
Enormous warehouse space furnished with reclaimed wood houses one of Oregon's most famous brewery and pub.
Dirty
Meat market for suburban set, located in the heart of the date rape district.
Dixie Tavern
Rock/urban cowboy themed bar is neither a tavern nor a rock bar, teeming with suburban 20 somethings eager to swap DNA and exotic diseases.
Doug Fir Lounge
Swanky, Hipster Hotel with Kick Ass Venue
Hungry Tiger Too
Hipsters and old men unite at this two room bar with both meat and vegan friendly menus.
Hutch on Holgate
Rustic sister bar of the Hutch Tavern, with a fanstatic mineshaft/cabin style basement.
Kells Irish
Perfect for when you and 300 other amateur hour weekend warriors simply must have an authentically Americanized Irish bar experience...
Kennedy School
It is an unwritten municipal code that all citizens are required to bring first time Portland visitors to this converted elementary school housing many "bars".
Kingston
Sports bar with tons of rooms next to Jeld-Wen.
Lotus Cardroom
Perfect around happy hour, CEG's finest establishment slowly transforms from downtown 9-5 drone lunch crowd, to bump'n'grind meat market in a span of 6 hours.
Macadam's
Big old sports bar in John's Landing
Madison's
Self-billed as an SE favorite, one can not imagine how or why - the place seems devoid of patronage entirely, until you see extensive Yelp reviews.
Marathon Taverna
Sports bar in the loosest sense: games play on numerous TVs, Budweiser banners adorn, the day shift old-timers could care less; at night, TapouT bedecked youngsters from god knows hoot & holler.
Mazatlan
Completely ordinary Mexican restaurant/bar with no real discerning qualities, other than the clientele's perplexed stares at Ella St. Social Club patrons across the st.
McFadden's
In the heart of the Jagerbomb district, the 20something suburban throngs descend to shake to a surprisingly decent DJs.
Migration Brewing
Beer-only microbrew joint's fantastic beers attract early afternoon beer geeks & patio sun-seekers.
Momo Bar Maximo
Not exactly a destination, though considering it's location, solid for sneaking a post downtown shopping happy hour drink, as evidenced by the crowd.
North 45
Swell back patio (non-smoking) and interesting drinks, tends toward the clean cut, pre-yuppie type crowd.
Portland City Grill
It's the view from the 30th floor! It's the happy hour! Boasted of equally by the white collar set to all out of towners. On a clear day, the view is grand...if you can get a seat.
Rock Bottom Brewery
Run of the mill national microbrewery chain with average food and less than desirable beer. You won't find many true locals here (read - popular with the suburbanites and tourists).
Rogue Hall
Rogue Ales PSU
Sandy Hut
Portland institution patronized by all walks of life. Cheap!
Sassy's
One of the best known alt crowd strip clubs in Portland.
Scooter McQuade's
Popular pre-Crystal Ballroom shows and post-Timbers matches bar known for its potent Jello shots.
Sewickly's Addition
One of the anchors of Hawthorne's famed Barmuda Triangle, this bar pours them heavy and cheap.
Shanghai Tunnel
Always reliable downtown (and mainly downstairs) bar with great food, great staff and a nice sidewalk patio. Part of the legendary Shanghai Tunnels of yesteryear.
Space Room
Legendary upper Hawthorne bar known for its stiff drinks and awesome Portland murals.
The Crown Room
Extremely loud bar/venue that's awkwardly designed in layout, but has a wide variety of events that cater to a wide crowd.
Trader Vic's
Legendary tiki chain of a bygone era risen from the ashes.
Twilight Cafe & Bar
SE diner with "attached" music venue hosting a wide variety of music.
