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Bars With People Who Can't Handle Their Liquor

Alibi Specifically: Weekends
4024 N. Interstate Ave. Portland OR 97227
Famed Portland tiki bar brimming with dark volcanic islandy charm. Located on the Max yellow line.

Barrel Room Rockin' Show Bar Specifically: Bachelorettes
105 NW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Dueling piano bar in the heart of the amateur nightclub zone.

Blitz Ladd
2239 SE 11th Ave. Portland OR 97214
Enormous sports bar with good food, lots of games, a true sportsman's paradise.

Casa Del Matador Southeast
2424 E. Burnside St. Portland OR 97214
Not THE Matador on W. Burnside. Not THE Matador on W. Burnside.

Cheerful Tortoise
1939 SW 6th Ave. Portland OR 97201
Right next to PSU, this would be downtown's Animal House, if, say, there were actually a university in Portland that had said fraternities.

Darcelle XV
208 NW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Best and longest running Drag show in town.

Deschutes Brewery Pub
210 NW 11th Ave. Portland OR 97214
Enormous warehouse space furnished with reclaimed wood houses one of Oregon's most famous brewery and pub.

Dirty
35 NW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Meat market for suburban set, located in the heart of the date rape district.

Dixie Tavern
34 NW 3rd Ave Portland OR 97209
Rock/urban cowboy themed bar is neither a tavern nor a rock bar, teeming with suburban 20 somethings eager to swap DNA and exotic diseases.

Doug Fir Lounge
830 E. Burnside St. Portland OR 97214
Swanky, Hipster Hotel with Kick Ass Venue

Hutch on Holgate
4515 SE 41st St. Portland OR 97202
Alas, HoH is now closed.
Rustic sister bar of the Hutch Tavern, with a fanstatic mineshaft/cabin style basement.

Kells Irish
112 SW 2nd Ave Portland OR 97204
Perfect for when you and 300 other amateur hour weekend warriors simply must have an authentically Americanized Irish bar experience...

Kennedy School
5736 NE 33rd Ave. Portland OR 97211
It is an unwritten municipal code that all citizens are required to bring first time Portland visitors to this converted elementary school housing many "bars".

Kingston
2021 SW Morrison St. Portland OR 97205
Sports bar with tons of rooms next to Jeld-Wen.

Loyal Legion Pub
710 SE 6th Ave portland or 97214
Contemporary bar located in a historic building, offering Oregon-brewed beer, sausages & spirits.

Marathon Taverna
1735 W Burnside St. Portland OR 97209
Sports bar in the loosest sense: games play on numerous TVs, Budweiser banners adorn, the day shift old-timers could care less; at night, TapouT bedecked youngsters from god knows hoot & holler.

Mazatlan
2050 SW Morrison St. Portland OR 97205
Completely ordinary Mexican restaurant/bar with no real discerning qualities, other than the clientele's perplexed stares at Ella St. Social Club patrons across the st.

Migration Brewing
2828 NE Glisan St. Portland OR 97232
Beer-only microbrew joint's fantastic beers attract early afternoon beer geeks & patio sun-seekers.

Momo Bar Maximo
725 SW 10th Ave. Portland OR 97205
Not exactly a destination, though considering it's location, solid for sneaking a post downtown shopping happy hour drink, as evidenced by the crowd.

North 45
517 NW 21st Ave. Portland OR 97209
Swell back patio (non-smoking) and interesting drinks, tends toward the clean cut, pre-yuppie type crowd.

Portland City Grill
111 SW 5th Ave. Portland OR 97204
It's the view from the 30th floor! It's the happy hour! Boasted of equally by the white collar set to all out of towners. On a clear day, the view is grand...if you can get a seat.

Rock Bottom Brewery
210 SW Morrison St Portland OR 97204
Run of the mill national microbrewery chain with average food and less than desirable beer. You won't find many true locals here (read - popular with the suburbanites and tourists).

Rogue Hall
1717 SW Park Ave Portland OR 97204
Rogue Ales PSU

Sassy's
927 SE Morrison St. Portland OR 97214
One of the best known alt crowd strip clubs in Portland.

Scooter McQuade's
1321 SW Washington St Portland OR 97205
Popular pre-Crystal Ballroom shows and post-Timbers matches bar known for its potent Jello shots.

Trio Club
909 E Burnside St Portland OR 97214
Bohemeth Karaoke joint mixed in with some DJ nights.

Twilight Cafe & Bar
1420 SE Powell Blvd Portland OR 97202
SE diner with "attached" music venue hosting a wide variety of music.